Battlefield 6 status: server issues and outage reports

Problems in the last 24 hours

The graph below depicts the number of Battlefield 6 reports received over the last 24 hours by time of day. When the number of reports exceeds the baseline, represented by the red line, an outage is determined.

Most Reported Problems

The following are the most recent problems reported by Battlefield 6 users through our website.

• Online Play (38%)
• Sign in (33%)
• Matchmaking (12%)
• Glitches (10%)
• Game Crash (6%)
• Hacking / Cheating (1%)

Live Outage Map

The most recent Battlefield 6 outage reports came from the following cities:

City	Problem Type	Report Time
Aberdeen	Hacking / Cheating	1 day ago
Argences	Matchmaking	3 days ago
Minneapolis	Sign in	4 days ago
Minneapolis	Sign in	5 days ago
Reims	Online Play	6 days ago
Pfaffenhoffen	Sign in	6 days ago

Full Outage Map

Community Discussion

Tips? Frustrations? Share them here. Useful comments include a description of the problem, city and postal code.

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Battlefield 6 Issues Reports

Latest outage, problems and issue reports in social media:

• 
  Jon Thomas (@wjonthomas) reported 3 minutes ago

  @TacticalGramps @Battlefield @EndersFPS That map spawn glitch is a real pain in the ***. Do they want people to play this game or not? It is insane that they have not fixed that yet.

• 
  yasser (@yaser7180361461) reported 4 minutes ago

  @RepLuna Nuclear weapons are no longer a problem; no one dares use them. Iran has missiles, drones, and proxies on the battlefield. They are the real danger. You will regret it.

• 
  C 🇺🇸🇩🇴 (@cesarbaezl) reported 4 minutes ago

  @BattlefieldComm Yall need to fix those servers. I don’t mind bots but let it be where its about 20% bots.

• 
  SoyUnBot4l3x (@CCSboyHen) reported 4 minutes ago

  @BattlefieldComm Last night some idiots were exploiting a glitch in Bazaar. They were out of bounds in the sky above the E flag. PLEASE FIX

• 
  BanksyCat (@Banksycat) reported 5 minutes ago

  @Jasonsherratt74 Every fact in that documented. The MoD confirmed the multiple filming points themselves. They admitted the commands on the audio. The G7 started the morning after. The shadow fleet policy was announced in March. Three months. Not one ship touched until the night before world leaders arrived. Nobody is criticising the forces. Eleven days before this three Royal Navy aviators died in a training crash in Devon. Lieutenant Commander Chris Gayson. Lieutenant Lily-Mae Fisher. Petty Officer Owen Green. Lily-Mae was on her final assessment. Her wings were due this month. In 2007 Starmer worked pro bono. Volunteered. Unpaid. To extend human rights law to the battlefield. That legal change triggered seven years of investigations against British soldiers. £60 million spent. Zero prosecutions. He spent years trying to destroy soldiers like them. Then used what is left of them as a prop the night before the G7. Criticising that man is not criticising them.

• 
  Kelly Detonated (@KellyDetonated) reported 10 minutes ago

  We can blame eachother for this but truth be told the whole Doha Deal was a disaster, and is still problematic today. Now, it can be something accept for what it is, learn and get better now, or we can pretend it isn’t there. I’ve accepted it, and hope we address that money is still going to the Taliban. Qatar is exceptionally clever when it comes to laundering money, while slapping on a bow and smiling saying it’s something else. We don’t operate this way, but they do, no matter how many shiny gifts and “peace” deals it brokers. It seems Soviet inspired, so maybe they learned from the best. Idk. It would be wise to have a completely neutral mediators, moving forward, that nobody involved has any conflicts of interest and a proven track record of success. We must use the icky stuff as a point of reference no matter how bad it stings to do so. My thoughts are that this is a clear case for strategic, long-game warfare that isn’t necessarily fought on a battlefield. We also need to admit that our reward system is very different than the middle eastern countries. We want everything done now. They are ideology driven. We’re built different. So this would require any agreements to include some language requiring enforceability that can’t be broken until it’s complete.

• 
  Mark Aurelius 🇦🇺🟢🟡 (@Mark_Aurelius_) reported 16 minutes ago

  @ArchysLife @DrewPavlou I'd recommend researching the Ottoman Army's size, experience, and battlefield record before continuing. It was a competent, organised, and battle-hardened force. Doing that would save me the trouble of having to embarrass you on the subject.

• 
  IEnjoyToast (@IEnjoyToast) reported 17 minutes ago

  @BattlefieldComm How about bullet registration? How about the random beams of light beaming down in redsec still happening? How about fixing the movement to penalize players aim when sliding & jumping all over the place, because it's pretty much feeling like a broken version of Warzone.

• 
  Cracked Nostalgia Antiques (@BuddyLeeGhost) reported 18 minutes ago

  @BattlefieldComm Fix strikepoint 😩

• 
  מכחול 🖌️ (@michgold1) reported 20 minutes ago

  @sfrantzman Yes, currently there is no intention to create entirely mixed units, but the army's promises can be broken (and have in the past) and certainly there is no guarantee for what would happen in the battlefield.

• 
  Jamie (@JPearson96) reported 21 minutes ago

  @BattlefieldComm Still nothing on XBOX matchmaking issues? Only been an issue since the beta

• 
  Z-11 (@Z11_eth) reported 26 minutes ago

  A healthy ecosystem isn’t built by pretending problems don’t exist. But it also isn’t built through outrage, superficial takes, and engagement farming disguised as analysis. Bored Ape, Pudgy Penguins, Azuki, and many other projects have made mistakes and faced communication issues. That’s part of building in a young industry where everyone is learning in real time. Constructive criticism matters. Communities should hold teams accountable. But there’s a difference between meaningful feedback and turning the timeline into a battlefield without understanding what is happening behind the scenes. Not every discussion belongs on the TL. Discord, AMAs, DMs, and community channels exist for a reason. If we truly believe NFTs are here to stay, then we should understand that ecosystems are not built by constantly attacking the very people and communities trying to push this space forward. Everyone says they want NFTs to win. They want Apes to win. They want Pudgy to win. They want Azuki to win. They want the entire space to grow beyond this bubble. But that starts with us. Because the environment we create with our words will ultimately shape the future we claim to believe in.

• 
  Reddy🌻 (@ReddyyyyyFaye) reported 32 minutes ago

  What’s funny is that now people are throwing blame around, saying FA fans also went into Y’s live and left trash comments, so that means FY fans also “have the right” to do the same. Hello? If one dog eats sht and another dog sees it and eats sht too, does that make the action right? Normally, you guys keep commenting FY in Faye’s live all the time. Did Faye ever say anything? But this time, you went into A’s space and acted disrespectfully toward the very person that Faye and Fabel are strongly protecting. And now, somehow you put the blame on Faye, accusing her of abandoning her old CP fans, and then dragged in the issue of Faye not controlling fans who spammed nonsense in Yo’s live. Hello? Why is Faye obligated to manage what happens in Yo’s live? Faye is not a kindergarten teacher who has to control every single fan and toxic person. You are old CP fans. You can delulu as much as you want, no one is stopping you. But don’t disrespect Faye or Faye’s new partner. If you truly love FY, then let FY remain a beautiful memory. Don’t turn it into a battlefield just because of your own obsession. #FayePeraya #AtomPariya

• 
  talkingINTROVERT (@ALAUDDINSHAHED) reported 35 minutes ago

  @BattlefieldComm no strike point fix???

• 
  Whiskas (@WhiskasOfficial) reported 36 minutes ago

  @BattlefieldComm Over a week to fix Strike point?!!!! You guys suck.

• 
  iliron (@fuckassad088) reported 38 minutes ago

  @BattlefieldComm Did you solve the issue where you can't open the settings in shooting range making you back out multiple times and entering again until it does work .very annoying

• 
  vitor 🦅 (@DuffyMorgan_) reported 38 minutes ago

  @BattlefieldComm Fix the netcode

• 
  Adrock (@Adrock318) reported 38 minutes ago

  @Battlefield Remove the constant orange dots that literally ping players that you would never see through smoke, etc and fix the TTD. Increase the base health, fix the net code, I don't care, just make it so we don't die in 2 frames and this game has a chance. @tiggr_ @DRUNKKZ3

• 
  kirito _4kirigaya (@K4kirigaya) reported 39 minutes ago

  @Talo_Hex @BattlefieldComm Don't listen to @Maniacmike18 he is just a moron looking for attention. They do need to fix the net code cuz I'm sick and tired of being killed while behind cover or a building for 2 seconds.

• 
  Ben Taber (@Bennyfofa) reported 41 minutes ago

  That's enough bullshit @Battlefield for one night. Appreciate all the lost fights over and over and over again after a server crash!

• 
  Javier. (@smesh_szn) reported 42 minutes ago

  @BattlefieldComm Please fix the black screen. Also, I can't access to settings when I'm in the shooting range for some reason. It's bugged.

• 
  Jayden Daniels Glazer (@DanielsForMVP) reported 43 minutes ago

  @BattlefieldComm Fix Rodeo you dweebs - no reason you should get the same points for opening a metal box than you do for killing an enemy

• 
  EvilToolLord 🇦🇺🎸🎮 (@EvilBeastLord) reported 49 minutes ago

  We made building destruction selective to make it fair . Nice so people can glitch the the roof and we can't do **** about it 👍 @T0TALfps @tiggr_ @Battlefield

• 
  Gabor Smith (@HCGMisi82) reported 50 minutes ago

  @BattlefieldComm When will you fix redsec? It's worse and more unstable than ever! 🤮🤮

• 
  Ninja Pagan (@psychoserial) reported 50 minutes ago

  @RightByTheSea @Battlefield I've haven't been able to earn battle pass points at this rate I don't see the point in playing they need to fix the dam battle pass pays premium price for pro now it's stop working...gunna have dispute with the bank at this rate.

• 
  Bob Nordberg AKA Bird Man Bob (@birdmanbob4) reported 52 minutes ago

  @grunthaphartz @RealAlexJones makes these examples striking is the calculated psychology behind them. They rely on the predictability of national response to perceived attacks on sovereignty and citizens. A sunk ship with drowned sailors or bombed buildings with civilian casualties triggers an instinctive demand for retaliation. Leaders could then point to the "clear" culprit—Egypt or Cuba—and mobilize resources accordingly. The Liberty plot, if accurate in its intent, would have exploited the fog of war to make the false flag credible, banking on chaos to obscure the true source. Northwoods, meanwhile, planned for peacetime execution, where the absence of active conflict made the manufactured threats even more alarming and actionable. In refining the comparison, one sees a shared template: identify the desired enemy, simulate their aggression through proxies or direct action, attribute the damage convincingly, and ride the wave of justified fury into war. This approach to engineering consent for conflict highlights a recurring pattern in strategic thinking, where truth becomes malleable in service of larger aims. The USS Liberty incident, framed this way, represents a maritime variant of the Northwoods blueprint—targeting a single high-value asset instead of multiple urban sites, but pursuing the same endgame of misdirection. Had either fully materialized as envisioned, the resulting wars might have reshaped alliances and borders in profound ways, all rooted in the initial lie of who fired the first shot or planted the first bomb. The emphasis remains on the mechanics of blame and the willingness to sacrifice lives or illusions of peace to achieve dominance on the battlefield of international opinion.

• 
  chris (@ChrisSlaske) reported 53 minutes ago

  @Battlefield nice job making the game go black screen with today's update. Guess you didnt fix it

• 
  kirito _4kirigaya (@K4kirigaya) reported 54 minutes ago

  .@BattlefieldComm fix the game chat audio and game audio cuz the damn game chat audio is way too damn loud now and the game audio is way too low. Wtf did you break now with this update?

• 
  Miny Boy (@miny_boy) reported 57 minutes ago

  Session Thirteen: The Day Gnomesguard Became the Dungeon Boss The party had technically been attempting a long rest, but after a portal, nearly dying in a dungeon full of werejackals, zombies, carnivorous plants, and Gwyane's decision making, they found themselves settling for a short rest instead during the long rest. Everyone was battered, bruised, exhausted, and questioning why they kept agreeing to go in the portal in the first place. The room was relatively secure. Relatively. Every few minutes a scratching noise echoed from somewhere beyond one of the nearby doors. Long claws dragged against stone. Something shuffled around out there in the darkness. Nobody volunteered to investigate. "Good news," Kai announced while leaning against a wall and cleaning blood off his sword. "Whatever that is, it's someone else's problem for another hour." Nobody argued. Instead the group settled into one of those strange adventuring conversations that somehow always occurred immediately after life-threatening combat. The discussion somehow turned toward size-changing magic. Arcades pointed toward the corpse of the massive werejackal lying nearby. "I still don't understand how Kai pushed that thing around." "It was momentum," Kai explained. "It was physics." "It was stupidity," Gwyane corrected. Kai nodded. "That too." Rashare scratched at one of his ears. "No normal creature that size should move that easily." Kai immediately had an answer. "Hollow bones." Everyone stared. "What?" "The thing had hollow bones." "It was a giant werejackal." "Hollow. Bones." Arcades looked unconvinced. Gnomesguard looked offended. Goto simply looked entertained. Kai crossed his arms. "You explain it then." Nobody could. Thus hollow bones became the official explanation. Meanwhile Goto had found a quiet corner and was practicing the strange spectral magic he had used during the battle. Ghostly hands flickered into existence around him before fading away again. Arcades watched curiously. "So how exactly does that work?" Goto wiggled his fingers. The transparent hands mimicked the motion. "Ghost magic." Arcades nodded slowly. "That doesn't explain anything." "It explains everything." Kai immediately became suspicious. The fighter stared at the floating hands. Then stared at Goto. Then stared at the floating hands again. "You sound exactly like Dutchman." The room became quiet. "Excuse me?" Goto asked. "You use weird magic." "Yes." "You say strange things." "Reasonable." "You explain nothing." "Correct." Kai pointed dramatically. "Druid." The table erupted. The DM nearly fell out of his chair laughing. Gnomesguard physically slapped himself across the face with a metal hand. Goto adjusted his top hat. "I am not a druid." "You sure?" "Very." "Because that's exactly what a druid would say." Goto sighed. "I am magical." Kai nodded. "Suspicious." "I am sneaky." "More suspicious." "I am not a druid." "The jury is still out." After an hour of healing, arguing, and recovering from near death, the group turned their attention back toward the dungeon. The scratching beyond the door continued. Whatever waited out there clearly wasn't leaving. They needed a plan. Kai immediately suggested fire. Goto immediately suggested ball bearings and more fire. Rashare had a better idea. The ranger pulled out his remaining Scroll of Ensnare. "We trap him." Everyone immediately agreed. The preparations began. Rashare carefully positioned the magical trap. Kai stood to one side of the doorway with a crossbow ready. Arcades positioned himself on the other side. Goto vanished behind the door with a knife in hand. Gwyane prepared for his most important role in the party. Opening doors. Gnomesguard proudly contributed absolutely nothing. "I am observing." "You are hiding." "Observation." Everything was ready. Gwyane reached for the handle. The party held their breath. The door opened. The zombie creature charged. The trap activated. Vines exploded upward from the floor. The zombie was immediately yanked into the air and left dangling upside down like the world's ugliest piñata. Before it could even react, Goto struck. Critical hit. The knife punched straight into its neck. The creature twitched once. Then stopped moving. Dead. Everyone lowered their weapons. The entire ambush had lasted roughly three seconds. Kai approached the body. Goto followed. The two stared down at the corpse. "Think that's Dutchman?" Goto asked. Kai crouched beside it. The fighter examined the corpse carefully. Then shook his head. "Dammit." "What?" "I don't think so." The group gathered around. Rashare looked over the body. "How can you tell?" Kai pointed. "Dutchman is blue." "True." "Short." "True." "Annoying." "Very true." Kai shrugged. "This thing only has one of those." Rashare folded his arms. "Maybe dead deep dwarves become pale." Kai blinked. "...what?" "You admitted you zoned out during Dutchman's anatomy lessons." "That's true." "So maybe they get longer and paler after death." Kai stared. Thought about it. Then pointed. "You know what? That's stupid enough to possibly be true." Nobody actually knew. The mystery remained unsolved. Beyond the corpse lay another passageway. A long hallway stretched forward before ending at a staircase descending into darkness. Gnomesguard's eyes immediately widened. "I HAVE AN IDEA." Everyone groaned. The autognome reached into his pack. Produced the bedroll. And jumped onto it. "No." "Yes." "No." "YES." Before anyone could stop him, Gnomesguard launched himself down the stairs like a tiny metallic sled. The screams echoed all the way down. Kai immediately shoved everyone aside. "I'm not missing this." His fish-like wings unfolded. The fighter leapt after the autognome and began gliding downward. Unfortunately he was a little too late. By the time he arrived… CRASH. Gnomesguard had already slammed into the bottom. Kai landed beside the wreckage. His disappointment was immeasurable. "I missed it." The rest of the party slowly descended. Boringly. Safely. Like responsible adventurers. Losers. At the bottom they discovered a massive arena. Rows of stone seating surrounded a gigantic combat pit. The place felt ancient. Forgotten. Built for blood. Rashare stopped moving. The ranger stared across the battlefield. Memories surfaced. Steel. Crowds. Chains. The roar of spectators. The smell of blood. For a brief moment he wasn't standing in a dungeon. He was back in the pits. Back where he had fought for survival. Back where people cheered while others died. Kai noticed immediately. Without saying much, he stepped beside Rashare and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Hey." The halfling looked up. Kai nodded toward the floor. "Just breathe." Rashare took a breath. Then another. The memories slowly faded. "We're here. Take a seat if you have to." Rashare smiled weakly. "Thanks." The others explored. Kai searched under the seats. No gum. His disappointment continued. Goto checked every nearby door. All locked. Then they noticed the throne. High above the arena sat a large chair overlooking everything. It looked wrong. The stone didn't match. The architecture didn't match. The entire structure felt foreign. Ancient. Different. Gnomesguard immediately sprinted toward it. The player still remembered the flesh throne from the previous campaign. His dreams of sitting in suspicious chairs had returned. The autognome climbed up and sat down. Nothing happened. Then he noticed the buttons. Hundreds of buttons. His eyes widened. "Oh no." "Oh yes." As he began pressing controls, forgotten memories surfaced. Alien technology. Ancient machinery. A crashed spacecraft disguised as architecture. Three eyed data-mining aliens. Mind thieves. Experimenters. The arena had never been a gladiator pit. It had been a testing facility. An entertainment center. A laboratory. And Gnomesguard was now operating the controls. Which was objectively terrifying. Meanwhile Rashare examined the arena floor. The terrain wasn't natural. Large hills. Deep pits. Hidden mechanisms. Trap doors. Something had been designed here. Something dangerous. Then Gnomesguard pressed another button. The ground immediately shook. Everyone rolled Dexterity saves. Kai failed. Gwyane failed. Both disappeared into newly opened pits. Their screams echoed through the arena. Kai climbed out covered in dust. "What is the bright idea, chrome dome?!" Gnomesguard looked genuinely apologetic. "There are many buttons." "STOP PRESSING THEM." "I need a map!" Then another button activated. A hidden trapdoor opened near the center of the arena. The group approached cautiously. Rashare tossed a stone into the darkness below. The sound continued. And continued. And continued. Eventually… *clack.* The DM sighed. "You rolled a natural twenty, didn't you?" Rashare smiled. The DM continued. "You somehow know it is exactly one hundred and twenty feet deep, there are spikes at the bottom, several corpses, and apparently their social security numbers." The table lost it. Kai peered into the darkness. His wings twitched. “I can glide down there." The fighter thought for a moment. "Problem is getting back up." A rope would solve that. But if they used a rope, gliding down became pointless. And Kai was not willing to sacrifice style for practicality. Not yet. Not in front of an audience. The dungeon had already proven itself to be a place designed by either a mad genius or someone who genuinely hated adventurers, and unfortunately for everyone involved, Gnomesguard had just been handed access to the controls. The results were exactly as catastrophic as one might expect. Another tremor ripped through the ancient arena complex, sending dust raining from the ceiling and stones rattling loose from centuries-old masonry. At the center of it all sat Gnomesguard. At a control panel. Surrounded by buttons. The worst possible combination. The autognome reached toward another glowing switch. "Oops." He pressed it. Immediately the entire arena shook like an angry giant had grabbed it by the foundations and started shaking it for loose coins. Rashare, who had already been having a rough day, lost his footing completely. The poor halfling slammed into the ground. Hard. And stopped moving. Silence. Everyone stared. Gnomesguard stared. "...I may have made a minor miscalculation." Kai pointed accusingly. "You knocked him unconscious with architecture." "Technically," Gnomesguard replied, "the architecture knocked him unconscious… and i rolled a one." The distinction did not help. The autognome scrambled down from the control platform and attempted to stabilize Rashare. His first attempt failed. Then his second. Then his third. At this point even the unconscious ranger seemed disappointed. Finally Gnomesguard managed to get the halfling breathing properly again. "There." He wiped imaginary sweat from his metal forehead. "Medical science prevails." Kai folded his arms. "You nearly killed him with a button." "Medical science still prevailed." After recovering Rashare, Gnomesguard suddenly had another idea. A terrible idea. Which, unfortunately, was still an idea. The most dangerous kind. He looked around the arena. Looked at the buttons. Looked at the party. Looked back at the buttons. Then smiled. Everyone became nervous. "Get out while I do the final button presses." "No." "Please?" "No." "I'm going to do them anyway." "That's why we're saying no." Too late. His hand was already moving. Another button clicked. A blinding flash exploded through the chamber. Kai had survived battlefields. He had survived experiments. He had survived magical disasters. He had survived Dutchman. But apparently none of that prepared him for getting flash-banged by a robot pressing random alien buttons. His darkvision immediately betrayed him. The world became white. Then black. Then somehow whiter. Then black again. The fighter staggered blindly into a nearby door. Head first. THUNK. Goto followed behind him. "Are you alright?" "I have no idea." "You walked into a wall." "I know exactly where I am." Another wall. THUNK. "No I don't." Elsewhere Arcades wandered through the chaos trying to accomplish something useful. A noble goal. Unfortunately he was surrounded by Gnomesguard. The paladin found another door. Then another button. Then another button. At some point doors began opening and closing seemingly at random. Nobody knew whether this was helpful or not. But eventually pathways started connecting. So everyone decided it counted as progress. Then Gnomesguard found the big button. The really big button. The button that practically screamed: DO NOT PRESS THIS BUTTON. Naturally he pressed it. The ancient machinery roared to life. Massive portals tore open around the arena. Strange lights flashed. Reality bent. And creatures began emerging from the gateways. A naga. A tiefling. A human. An orc. A warforged. Several other things nobody immediately recognized. Gnomesguard stared at the growing army. Then smiled. "Oh." Everyone groaned. The portals began disgorging monsters. Then Gnomesguard had another idea. Again. “I’m going to make them regret coming to the arena, just like my party did.” The portals slammed shut. Several creatures were cut off mid-step and crushed violently as dimensional gateways folded over them. The survivors collapsed to the ground. Prone. Dazed. Injured. Gnomesguard nodded approvingly. "Interesting." Then he opened them again. Then closed them again. Just because he could. At this point the arena itself seemed offended. Meanwhile Kai and Goto sat by one of the doors completely unaware of the exact disaster unfolding elsewhere. Kai did not have a sending stone. Now it has come to bite them in the ***. The rabbit adjusted his top hat nervously. "You think he's done?" Kai listened. Far away came explosions. Earthquakes. Screaming. Metal grinding. The sound of reality folding itself into a pretzel. "No." "You don't sound worried." "If Gnomesguard was actually done, it'd be quiet." "Fair point." "What we just heard means he's still experimenting." The fighter slowly drew his sword. "Which means we should prepare." Arcades finally managed to open a door after failing to kick it and sprinted inside. What he found immediately made him regret it. Creatures. Lots of creatures. Everywhere. A naga. An orc. A tiefling. A human. Things moving. Things growling. Things very interested in murder. Arcades immediately backed out. Closed the door. Turned around. And found Gnomesguard still at the controls. The autognome looked over. "I'm about to push all the buttons." Arcades screamed. The earthquake that followed could probably be felt in neighboring kingdoms. Everyone hit the ground. Stone cracked. Dust exploded upward. Lights flashed. Rashare finally woke up. The first thing he saw was Gnomesguard covering his eyes with a giant metal hand. "Why are you doing that?" "Protecting you." "From what?" "Science." Rashare wasn't sure whether that answer made him feel better or worse. Goto peeked through the doorway. One human remained prone near the entrance. The rabbit looked back toward Kai. "Now." The door swung open. Kai exploded into motion. The fighter launched himself through the doorway like a missile. His greatsword swept downward. Steel struck flesh. The human staggered backward as blood splattered across the stone. Ten solid points of damage. A strong opening. Not enough to finish the job. The battle erupted. Rashare finally regained his footing and fired an arrow toward the warforged. The shaft struck metal with a loud TING. Good hit. Hard to tell how much it mattered. The construct had probably been punched by larger things than arrows before breakfast. The human swung wildly at Kai. Missed. Badly. Kai smiled. A very dangerous smile. Behind the human, Goto vanished. Then reappeared. Nat twenty. The rapier struck where the sun didn't shine. The table immediately lost all maturity. The unfortunate angle of attack became legendary. The human collapsed dead. Sword sticking out of his bum. Goto attempted to retrieve his weapon. No luck. "...This is awkward." Kai nodded solemnly. "Heroes face many challenges." Then Gwyane saw something. Not the battle. Not the monsters. Not the chaos. A staircase. Leading somewhere else. Possibly treasure. Possibly booze. Possibly both. The sorcerer made his decision instantly. The party would understand. Probably. Maybe. Not really. He sprinted sixty feet up the staircase. At the top stood a locked door. He attempted to pick it with a dagger. Failed. The door remained unimpressed. Gwyane frowned. Then pulled out a crowbar. "Fine." One impressive effort later the lock gave way. Kai would have been proud. Violence remained the universal key. Back in the arena things continued deteriorating. The tiefling fired arrows toward Gnomesguard. The autognome ducked. While ducking he accidentally pressed another button. Earthquake. Again. Everyone screamed. The naga fired while falling over. Missed everyone. Rashare retaliated. Nat one. The arrow sailed perfectly across the counsel. Directly into the back of Gnomesguard's head. The autognome froze. Slowly turned. Oil dripped. "I have been betrayed." Six damage. More than half his health. The tiny machine was officially oilied. An orc climbed the control platform toward Gnomesguard. The autognome was furious. The orc reached the controls. Stepped on a button. Another earthquake. Kai fell. Goto fell. Everyone hated buttons. The orc then decided Gnomesguard looked friendly. Reasonable, considering he had caused most of the chaos. So instead he targeted Rashare. The injured halfling immediately regretted existing. Meanwhile the warforged retreated to higher ground. It looked down confidently. "It's over, invaders. I have the advantage." Arcades pointed his axe. "Don't try it." The paladin charged. Swung. Missed. The warforged remained untouched. Arcades stopped. "...The high ground really does have power." Kai rose from the floor and sighed. "You people understand nothing." Everyone looked at him. "The high ground isn't unbeatable." He pointed toward the warforge. "You attack the ankles." Then he demonstrated. His sword flashed. The warforge's lower body came apart. The creature collapsed instantly. Dead before it hit the ground. Kai rested the blade on his shoulder. "See?" He looked around the battlefield. "Simple math." And somewhere nearby, Gnomesguard was still reaching for buttons. The battle had descended into exactly the kind of chaos that seemed to follow this group wherever they went, and despite all the planning, all the caution, and all the warnings about pressing mysterious alien buttons, the arena now looked like the aftermath of a natural disaster mixed with a tavern brawl and a poorly supervised magical experiment. The orc, still determined to squash someone smaller than himself, swung his weapon at Rashare with all the grace of a falling tree. The halfling ranger ducked at the last possible second. The weapon whistled harmlessly through the air. "Missed me," Rashare said. The orc growled. Elsewhere, the battered naga lashed out at Kai with one final desperate strike, its serpentine body twisting across the arena floor as it tried to salvage what little dignity remained. It missed. Kai looked down at the failed attack. Then looked back at the naga. Then back at the attack. "That was embarrassing for both of us." Meanwhile, completely disconnected from the battle raging below, Gwyane had finally succeeded in opening the locked door at the top of the staircase. The young sorcerer cautiously pushed it open. He expected treasure. Ancient secrets. A powerful artifact. Perhaps enough alcohol to solve several emotional problems. Instead he found a pantry. A very large pantry. Shelves lined the walls from floor to ceiling, packed with preserved food, supplies, potions, strange ingredients, and enough rations to feed an army. And standing in the middle of it all was Dutchman. The deep dwarf was stuffing supplies into a sack with the enthusiasm of a raccoon that had discovered an unattended bakery. He looked up. Saw Gwyane. Smiled. "Oh hey!" Gwyane blinked. "Dutchman?" "Yep." "We've been looking everywhere for you." "That's nice." Dutchman shoved three more potions into his bag. The sorcerer stared. "You're... not trapped?" "Nope." "Hurt?" "Nope." "Captured?" "Nah." "Missing?" Dutchman considered that. "I suppose technically." Gwyane rubbed his forehead. The headache from last night's drinking somehow got worse. "Do you remember me?" Gwyane asked. Dutchman looked offended. "Of course I remember you. You were at the wizard party." "The one that got me expelled." "Yeah, that one." "You got arrested too." Dutchman nodded. "Good times." Gwyane looked ready to scream. Instead he settled for a long sigh. "We fought zombies." "Oh." "We fought a werejackal." "Oh." "We nearly died several times." "Oh." "There was a rabbit." "Oh." "There was a goblin." "Oh." "There was an alien arena controlled by Gnomesguard." Dutchman stopped. "Actually that one sounds concerning." The dwarf casually handed him several potions. "Want these?" "You've been carrying healing potions this entire time?" "Probably." "We almost died." "Yeah, but now you didn't." The logic somehow made sense by Dutchman standards. The two began casually walking back toward the battlefield. Not running. Not hurrying. Just strolling. Like they were returning from a pleasant shopping trip. Back in the arena, things were still exploding. Goto suddenly stepped forward and unleashed a thunderous blast directly into the central platform area. The shockwave erupted outward. The orc disappeared. Literally launched into another room. The goblin was thrown backward. The naga collapsed. And poor Rashare failed another save. The halfling hit the floor. Again. Unconscious. Again. Kai watched him fall. Slowly. Sadly. Almost thoughtfully. Then sighed. "Did he just have a heart attack?" The table immediately lost it. Rashare's player did not. When the dust finally settled only one enemy remained standing. The goblin. Tiny. Terrified. Surrounded by corpses. The poor creature looked like someone who had just realized he had accidentally wandered into the wrong campaign. Gnomesguard immediately approached. "Hello little friend." The goblin looked terrified. "We don't have to fight." The autognome knelt down. "You seem like a reasonable fellow." The goblin looked around at the mountain of dead bodies. Reasonable was not the word he would have used. Gnomesguard continued. "You can help us." The goblin hesitated. "Or else." The goblin became more nervous. "You look cool." The goblin became confused. "Help us." The goblin became concerned. "Or else." The goblin became terrified again. Kai slowly pulled out a javelin. "How's diplomacy going?" Gnomesguard pointed. "Don't." Kai spun the weapon once. "I'm just asking." "Don't." "I can throw really accurately." "Don't." Then the goblin started crying. Not dramatic crying. Not villain crying. Genuine crying. The kind that comes after watching every friend you've ever known get flattened by adventurers. "You killed them all!" Everyone paused. The goblin pointed around the room. "You killed all my friends!" His voice cracked. "What am I supposed to do now?" Kai slowly approached. Javelin still ready. "Is the conversation working?" Gnomesguard finally snapped. "If you throw that thing we're going to have a problem." Kai glared. "We already have a problem." He pointed at the control platform. "Your science experiment." And then Dutchman walked into the room carrying snacks. "Hey guys, what's going on?" Everyone stared. The battlefield was covered in bodies. The floor was cracked. Several walls had exploded. There was a crying goblin. Rashare was unconscious. Again. Dutchman blinked. "Whoa." The goblin pointed at Kai. "He's trying to kill me." Gnomesguard immediately put an arm around the goblin. "Not anymore." Then he handed the goblin a healing potion. Kai watched this happen. Slowly lowered his javelin. And simply walked away. "You're adopting a ******* goblin." "Maybe." "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard." "He needs friends." "He's going to bite somebody." Then Gnomesguard noticed Goto. The rabbit adjusted his top hat. The autognome pointed. "Wait." Goto froze. "When did we adopt a bunny?" "I am not adopted." "You are now." "No." "What's your name?" "Goto Dehel." Gnomesguard paused. "...Dehel?" "Yes?" "I think that was my ex-wife." Silence. Absolute silence. Arcades nearly dropped his axe. "You were married?" "Happily separated." Nobody knew how to continue that conversation. Kai simply turned around and walked farther away. Dutchman began distributing potions to everyone like a cheerful pharmacist. Rashare received one and immediately woke up. Again. Kai received a Greater Healing Potion after Dutchman learned he had sacrificed his own. The fighter accepted it. Very carefully. Like it might disappear if he blinked.

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  Legal Style Blog (@legalstyleblog) reported 57 minutes ago

  @GrenadaLoyalist sigh heraldry is premised on clarity (seeing it across a battlefield). Maybe I don't know the iconography and it's a me problem, but I would not recognize the drum without knowing it was one